no one knows why the wolf laughs

Titular Disappointment

2012-01-22T20:56:00.002-05:00

When you hear that a book is titled The Last Argument of Kittens and then discover you have misheard and it is actually titled Last Argument of Kings, the crushing disappointment that follows is inevitable.

Musical Instruments Are Also Keys.

2012-01-20T19:16:00.002-05:00

You know what I find fascinating about music? It's largely math. And I HATE math. Yet I love music. Music pulls all sorts of illogical, irrational reactions out of me. Take, for instance, today. I was in Union Square station in NYC during the process of going to the doctor for my post-emergency-room checkup, and the woman from New York Violinist was there playing the Lakme side of Leo Delibes

A Sword Is Actually A Key.

2012-01-17T03:36:00.000-05:00

Well, yes, it's also a weapon and a symbol and a tent pole and all sorts of other things as well... But in my mind, in the magic universe where I'm choosing to put my brain right now, a sword is a key. Not just any key, mind you. Swords either are blades or have blades, depending on how you wish to look at it. The part of a key that slides into the lock is called a blade. Many swords would

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

2012-01-16T16:27:00.000-05:00

If Martin Luther King was still alive today, he'd be 83. 83. Not yet one lifetime. So much hatred and racism, and the behaviors spawned by it are still ingrained in this American society. Anyone who says otherwise is fooling themselves badly. I was a bit put off today, because I'm not in a position to find my Testament of Hope book and do my usual reading. I've been reading online instead -

Wine, Food, and Incense

2012-01-11T20:21:00.000-05:00

According to a lot of sources (here's one), priests of Janus offered wine, food and incense to Janus to solicit propitious beginnings to the Roman year. I am, of course, unsurprised at the content (there's a common sacrificial theme to certain Roman gods) and unsurprised at how that matches our celebratory habits. I am surprised at how little I really think about how the Janus habit permeates

The January Sickness

2012-01-09T17:30:00.001-05:00

It seems that Orple 1-Dog 3-Cat Headquarters is generally sick today. Lovelyman and I are downed by a weird "cross-between-cold-and-flu" thing Miss McNugget has a major belly upset and both Fatbellins* and Spazmuffin* - two of the stepcats - have been sneezing (the latter much more than the former). Luckily, Miz Silkmonster* - the third stepcat - gives the impression of doing well. The happy?

Hello, You Beautiful Year, You.

2012-01-02T13:14:00.000-05:00

You've already made quite an interesting entrance. Yesterday's weather was amazing, and I was absolutely gleeful about that gift. Today's weather is harsh, but it isn't at all goopy like prior years have been, and I appreciate that the speed of the wind is not yet up to the level that would restrict my breathing. Today is going to be a lot of work, but things look really good from this vantage

Four More Minutes...

2011-12-31T23:59:00.000-05:00

And we are putting this year to bed. I was supposed to write about it, but we've both spent so much time making real progress in real time that there's no more time for describing it :) Therefore? Prosecco toast! Hail January, month of Janus, doors and transitions ahoy! I wish you all so much laughter in 2012 that your stomach muscles protest. :)

One Day Left (Give Or Take Some Hours)...

2011-12-30T19:28:00.000-05:00

It was a good day. A day full of awesome astronomy and good food and great friends and tons of love everywhere. It seemed to be an excellent way to start the process of putting 2011 to bed - a year that was dreadful for many people around me (for whom I wish the best of years to come). This very thoughtful woman Havi says of any transition "enter it as you wish to be in it." Considering how

328 Hours Later

2011-12-17T20:47:00.001-05:00

Primarily, joy. It's been almost 2 weeks since "touchdown" here at Orple 1-Dog 3-Cat Headquarters, and it's still exciting and magic as hell. Alternately, am tired of the yo-yo that is the suck-ass SOPA bill media coverage. Please, Congress. Just admit you're jealous of China already. Finally, the bedroom smells like pot due to rather enthusiastic catnip antics perpetrated by the cats. Amelia

Blue Hill Stone Barns (or, 'Why Something Amazing Can Be Painful')

2011-12-12T19:04:00.002-05:00

I have not recovered from my Blue Hill adventure of Sunday night. I can say with some authority that the Lovelyman hasn't either. Hanging with the original NYCrew was awesome, and the beverages were exquisite. The food, as transcendent as it was, had me groaning in pain as we traveled to the train station. 8 courses is too much. One of the BIG problems of Blue Hill is that everyone at your

HipGnosis is a Fucking JOY.

2011-12-10T18:11:00.001-05:00

Seriously. You have no idea. @simonethinks at Freckled Brilliance is a fucking healing genius in a gorgeous-person package with one of those magical voices that can take you from a bubblyhappy point to the OMG-about-to-crash point with seemingly no segue between the two. I was spellbound without losing any control over myself; able to give over the wheel without needing to cringe and

Full Moon Ponderings: Things Fall Into Place

2011-12-10T17:17:00.001-05:00

It's SO magical, I can't even joke about this stuff. The past week-and-change has been an amazing exercise in seeing everything just fall into its proper place, without any effort on anyone. (almost typed "problem place" but that's old me, still worrying....) Lovelyman is in the apartment through a rather magical series of "oh hey look this worked out perfectly" events, as well as all of his

Schoolhouse Rock Revisited

2011-12-01T21:19:00.001-05:00

"A woman and a woman had a little baby That makes three It's a magic number" ...it still works.

The Bloom of Shared Mindspace

2011-11-28T19:00:00.001-05:00

Just a brief moment to share... There is this a-maaaazing woman, Simone, who is over at Freckled Brilliance and with whom I'm hoping to share some healing space in the near future. She's on Twitter (with a really fun and bouncy persona) and posted the following: "Everything is a pattern! Patterns are re-write-able!" - @simonethinks To which I immediately responded, as I'm a big pattern-hunter

The Joy of the Last Detail Done

2011-11-25T14:10:00.001-05:00

It's not been an easy week, but the things that needed to be done have been done. Things are progressing differently than planned, but things are still progressing. The plan is set and OMG the move is actually happening! As Jody would put it, *MUPPETARMS*! *flail* *squee* December, here we come... (holy crap. *delight*)

Thankful

2011-11-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

Oh, am I. - I'm thankful for the crazy ride this year which has gotten me to such an amazing place. - I'm thankful for my sweetie. It has been terrifyingly beautiful the entire time. - I am, of course, thankful for my puppila. She has saved my life so many times I can't even count anymore. - Which means, I suppose, I'm extra thankful I never did it. - I'm thankful that a dear, dear friend of

There Are Things and There Are Things.

2011-11-22T22:30:00.001-05:00

So, due to conditions outside of my control or the control of anyone aside from Chase bank and my ankle, my Turkey Day holiday plans were drastically altered. No Pittsburgh for me. I was initially pretty devastated by this news, but it didn't take long (w/the help of my sweetie) to see the flip side of the drama. And really, that's the key. It was oddly easy to see the flip side of the drama.

Moment of Silence

2011-11-11T11:11:00.000-05:00

Armistice Day. There's something semi-sad when you cannot perform your usual mini-ritual due to being in a power position and needing to address an issue. It was in my head, though. That lack of attack, that quiet of sky. Poppies, indeed.

Inadvertent Rituals

2011-11-01T20:14:00.000-04:00

Over my many years and through an embarrassing lot of iterations of religion-into-spirituality-into-something-altogether-different, I've developed a few little personal rituals that have become very useful touchstones. I've noted that even if I no longer believe in the belief-based background of the ritual, the steps somehow detach themselves from any obligations to their history and happily

Wait, Where Did October Go?

2011-10-21T17:16:00.001-04:00

I think it was on Wednesday that I noticed, due to work-meeting-scheduling, that I was going to see J in a week... and it didn't dawn on me until today that that meant Halloween was almost upon us. Which means I only have a month to do a TON of work. And it also means I have no costume prepared. Aigh!

New York ComicCon Blowaway

2011-10-19T18:58:00.000-04:00

I am not, by nature, an extrovert. I do exhibit some extroverted behavior, but aside from a very few exceptions, I get very unhappy if I have to be around a lot of people, particularly if there is little to no room between myself and those people. The exceptions? The subway (as long as no one is touching me). Rock* (or industrial/punk/postpunk/metal/etc) Concerts. Genre Conventions. Or at least

Strength Being Cowardice Being Strength

2011-10-11T23:04:00.000-04:00

Once Upon A Time... ...there were a number of people who regarded me as very strong, which I did not understand in the slightest. I'd thought of myself as a coward for years. Of course, it all boiled down to definitions, as it always does. One person said it was my capacity to endure pain, which in his estimation was extraordinary. (Though I am a wuss when it comes to mouth pain.) Another

Steve Was A Rock Star.

2011-10-08T13:20:00.000-04:00

Or a brilliant multimedia artist. Or a film director. Or performance artist, or something. You know this. You know this in your heart because people take a weird sort of emotional ownership of art they like. Whether it is music, writing, painting, film... The loss of an artist is felt personally for many, because that person's art somehow, in some wise, actually touched them personally. And

Leaving Facebook - The Long Drawn-Out Breakup

2011-09-27T23:26:00.002-04:00

Wow. I tried to delete my account but Facebook won't do it for 2 weeks - my profile will stick around for 2 weeks!This is like a crappy breakup gone wrong.

Steering Mechanisms

2011-09-26T16:48:00.003-04:00

2011 is proving to be the polar opposite of 2001, despite an initially rocky and sad start. I am still reeling, in a happy way, from this weekend. I recently mentioned shifting 5 degrees to the good, and now it's as though the whole Universe has turned a whole 'nother aspect. Almost 45 degrees' worth of change! It hasn't necessarily been all sparkles and brightness, but it is very clear that

Adding Light To The Rainbow

2011-09-21T21:13:00.004-04:00

Like most people in the technological countries, I am involved with a number of online and physical communities of people. A number of my communities span both online and physical, but in a real sense, the differences between online and real-life communication* aren't significant in this context. Each of these communities has a focus, even if it's a really diffuse, kind of vague focus that

Ever Feel Like Your Entire Life Shifts 5 Degrees To The Good?

2011-09-18T14:38:00.002-04:00

Between being able to write, having a new client be even better than you imagined they would be, and on top of that getting great news (which I won't jinx by making it public), I've been on a mental/emotional whoa-whirl-spin thing this weekend. Coupled with the sudden ability to take care of a number of house-things, I'm feeling pretty sparkly right now. I know I'll get to the mope-tastic "crap

The Wonder Of Those You Choose To Love

2011-09-12T21:04:00.004-04:00

So, I have these friends, right?I mean, really really extraordinary friends. But I want to focus on three very specific friends.Two of my closest friends are stunningly brilliant artists in different media.Another close friend is an amazing, eco-compassionate lawyer.The best part? That's not even the most kick-ass part of them... they weren't *obviously* that objectively awesome when I met

Jump.

2011-09-11T12:51:00.001-04:00

Choose your life.Choose it thoughtfullyAnd with as much love for yourself as you can.Because unless you are very lucky(or very unlucky)You do not get to choose your death.

Reclaiming "Time Out In The Corner"

2011-09-05T20:42:00.000-04:00

It has been a while since I've blogged, because even with the new workspace I've barely written anything at all. I don't feel quite right about spending time blogging when my stories beg for attention, you know? I've been doing a lot of internal work on this, including investigating whether I have, per Stephen King, made "the commitment to shut the door." But so far, nothing I've worked on has

Tendrils of Workspace

2011-06-12T10:00:00.005-04:00

I did all of my crazy birthday celebrating yesterday (a full 12 hours of goodness! Whoa!) and decided against my original North Fork Wine Tour idea for today (well, finances were actually a larger part of that decision, but still!) so that I could clear the deck and do something I really, really needed and really, REALLY wanted to do.Today is Workspace Unraveling Day.I think a lot of people are

Okay, That Didn't Work At All

2011-06-08T07:59:00.003-04:00

It's amazing to me how difficult it is right now for me to write about how important workspace is to one's writing. That post I published last night (now deleted) was a failure - I'll try again soon.

There Is No Catching Up

2011-05-22T17:08:00.003-04:00

Wow, it has been a While. So much has happened since I touched this blog last, I can't even begin to start. So I shant - instead, let us fast forward through January, February, and March.wywywywywywyFor those of you who haven't been following me elsewhere, my uncle died on April 14th, after a heroic 15-month struggle with brain cancer. (RIP Rick.) I moved from my sublet/evacuated my storage unit

Process and Progress

2010-12-19T15:00:00.002-05:00

It has been a wild week. Lots doing, lots being, lots going. Working, food poisoning, packing, cleaning, painting, visiting, planning. Bought two tickets, one for a bus to Pittsburgh and one for a plane to South Carolina. The thing I have *not* been doing is writing.However, with all the craziness, I've had a bunch of fantastic moments. The best of the week: Amelia has adapted well enough to her

The Last Mercury Retrograde of the Year

2010-12-12T18:51:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make.I LOVE Mercury Retrograde.Most of the people I know who have a vague kind of belief in astrology* have one of those "aaagh" reactions when told of an upcoming Mercury retrograde. They relate experiences of massive communications failure, computer crashes, family misunderstandings and arguments, etc etc. Far be it from me to deny it; I have my own theories about the

Flash Fiction - Support Group

2010-11-02T16:48:00.000-04:00

Something that came to me as a relief story when my current project got to be too much for me. I find it entertaining.Support Group"All right, everyone, I'm calling this meeting to order, so if you'll please all be seated..."As you know, the AIA has been fundraising for the past few weeks, since we're coming up on our 1010th anniversary. No, no need for applause; none of us would be here without

Writing Standing Up

2010-09-26T19:59:00.000-04:00

I've seen a number of blog posts out and around the 'net lately which discuss the constant question of "how to become a writer" - the obvious answer being, "one has to write, and find time to write every day." Seems obvious enough, right?Then why do some find it so hard?Since I am currently employed in a fairly high-responsibility day job, one of the constant struggles I experience is finding the

Fiction Snippet - Pseudomorph (yet another non-story precursor to my current project)

2010-08-07T12:30:00.004-04:00

Posted to participate in a Twitter #SaturdayStory event. This is incomplete backstory - just a snippet - I recently wrote for "Skein." PseudomorphAdenosine. Purio. Fewer than three. O2 here. Push nerve bundle into quiescense there.Tander flew through the mods in Tania’s body – the sprites on the amygdala, the coursers in the heart tissue, the fiery in the left lung, the floaters in the blood, on

Writer needs - lovely, delicious, inexpensive nurturances

2010-07-29T23:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went comparison shopping* for the simplest little inspiration-improvements I could find. I've got very little room in the apartment or in the budget, but I needed some emotional new-space in which to give myself a bit of a boost (or a nudge as the case might be).This is something I have had to do on a semi-regular basis since I moved into the place in which I live right now. I am

Fiction - The Greeting (a precursor to my current project)

2010-07-24T16:01:00.008-04:00

Posted to participate in a Twitter #SaturdayStory event. This is backstory I recently wrote for "Skein." The Greeting"You have to understand that your interaction with her will be like nothing you have ever experienced before."She examined him in the early twilight. He was slightly abashed; this was not a circumstance he was accustomed to sharing. Caradan Thess adjusted in her plastra seat and

Fiction - Baby Day (excerpt and link)

2010-07-17T13:59:00.003-04:00

Posted to participate in a Twitter #SaturdayStory event. This is really old; I think I wrote it in 1990. Only posting an excerpt here because it's over 6,000 words.BABY DAY Eddie calls me when he has a contact. "A couple from Eastchester," he says. "Specifics?" "Pink and white." He coughs, drags on his cigarette. "Deadline?" "Business poker game next Friday." "Next

The Character's Voice; The Writer's Voice

2010-07-14T20:30:00.003-04:00

In all my discussion about Backstory, and how it affects perspective, I didn't touch on one thing that is its own little kernel of interest within the work of writing: voice differences.Briefly -Dialogue is in the character's voice. Exposition, description, and other character-independent points should suit the writer's voice. But what about perspective? There is such a thing as one's mental

Backstory, part 3 of 3

2010-07-13T20:30:00.002-04:00

So I've spoken of the need to treat one's characters as if they were real people, with real stories and real histories, and I've also mentioned briefly that I do not believe real people are reliable narrators. Now I want to address the concern of the reader's view.I've observed that most readers, if they are not given a rather strong and glaring clue, will assume their narrator is the omniscient,

Fiction - a clipping of my current project

2010-07-12T20:30:00.002-04:00

A chunk from "Skein," to be renamed once completed.~ * ~The sun was setting, turning the river cool and ice-pink. The fluttering sloops were no longer running and she was striking out for the Hellwaters, the tossing currents at the crux of the eastern river that bordered both the island and the Southeast district, the grey sound, and the angel’s horn.There used to be a prison there, she thought,

Backstory, part 2 of 3

2010-07-11T20:07:00.002-04:00

I've been working with my protagonist very much in depth recently, which has given this whole concept of backstory a considerable twist. My protagonist has a major disadvantage, in that she cannot remember two years of her past, but some rather inscrutable iconography of that past is still scattered around her living space. The impact of this kind of amnesia is hard to convey in text, but it is

Fiction - Dollhouse

2010-07-10T15:16:00.002-04:00

Posted to participate in a Twitter #SaturdayStory event, started by Jeremy C. Shipp. WARNING - Major, major triggers in this one. Please read with extreme caution. If you're a survivor, I recommend skipping it.Day 1They have me in a featureless room. It seems to be rounded - the surface of the walls and floor are smooth and plastic-like, cool to the touch. There is a seam in the room, but I

The Pride Post

2010-06-27T17:20:00.006-04:00

This is not topical for the Backstory set of posts, but it is relevant for today, the day of Pride in NYC, the day to celebrate alternative sexualities and gender perceptions.Today I gleefully support every single person who has gone out there and shown who they are, in all their glory and beauty. Those people are amazing, and beautiful, and brave and strong, and they deserve to be

Backstory, part 1 of 3

2010-06-21T22:36:00.003-04:00

I have been spending the last couple of... well, I was about to say weeks, but really at this point it's months writing backstory for the project I'm working on. It's a lot of detail work, some of which resolves a lot of conflicts that arose between my outline and the story that my characters were telling. This is, truly, the reason why I delved into this storyline which exists literally 190

Moments of Astonishment

2010-05-18T23:01:00.004-04:00

If you write, you know there are those moments. Those moments when you can't help the astonished, indrawn breath; when something that seemed an ordinary plot point suddenly reveals itself to have a rainbow brilliance of complexity. For most of my life, the vast majority of those moments have terrified me into dropping the piece for days, sometimes weeks, while I came to terms with what my

Navelgazing: The Things You Learn

2010-05-08T21:13:00.004-04:00

Being the villain in an intense, but short, lifepiece is really a violent yet extraordinary way to get clarity on very confusing, infuriating, conflictioning issues. A big blowup I was expecting for a almost a month now has finally happened, and the reaction has been such that the confliction I was experiencing surrounding some major friendships (not romances, but friendships, old and new) has

New Risa Poetry - My Dog Hunts the Deep Ones

2010-05-01T22:06:00.003-04:00

I was prompted to post this by a dream I had last night, though the content of the dream seemed initially unrelated. This is only a 3rd draft, but I'm now convinced that it's too personal to be publishable, so I offer it here.My Dog Hunts the Deep OnesThe comment came and went.I thought nothing of it at the time:“She seems to know she’s getting old,”He said, and only later did I dare to wonderIf

A New Set of Decade-al Numbers

2010-01-02T21:42:00.001-05:00

Whether or not you think the prior decade is over or if we have one more year, the truth is that this is the year in which the "oh-#" will stop. Next decade will probably end up being the Teens, but I doubt anyone will call this year a "teen" or an "aught." Therefore, this year seems to be a nice mental bridge year.While I know, consciously, that this year will likely be much better than last,

A Commentary on Memory, and Clive Barker

2009-12-31T18:48:00.000-05:00

Most people know I follow quite a few writers, but none are so intriguing as Clive Barker. Right after Christmas he posted a few tweets, as follows:In our next incarnation all previous lives-- species and spans, loves and losses, tragedies and triumphs --will be remembered. We will be whole in our self-remembered states. And being whole, Holy.In someone else's context, this can be beautiful, odd,

Fiction - A Son Is Given

2009-12-18T21:50:00.004-05:00

This story is a part of the Spec the Halls contest for speculative winter holiday-themed fiction, artwork, and poetry. You may find guidelines and links to other entries at http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls.html A Son is Given...Arise, arise, shine, for thy light is come...Handel's Messiah reverberated mightily from the speakers as the clock struck eleven. The angels' wings fluttered in the

Yet More Old Risa Poetry - In The Darkness (He Breaks)

2009-10-03T20:45:00.002-04:00

for jemayacasting or dividingthis truth comes through like a gamea riddle of metaphor and divinationhand's subtlety to soul's desperationbridged by the look in our eyesit is a quality of needfinding faith in a subconscious gamblei will bet you your future you need mei will bet you your past you will runcast the coins.roll the dice.see who wins. he is in a tent built so tall he can

Zeitgeist: Ann-Margret vs Lindsey Lohan

2009-09-07T23:17:00.004-04:00

Old Risa Poetry - Hunger

2009-09-07T00:11:00.003-04:00

hunger (inspired by "i wish i was a little girl," by brighter death now) laughter comes first. i should have known. once you've taken the draught of poison, nothing else could hurt. reality frees me from the bonds of pain, but reality is pain. reality sits in my veins and flays my skin away from the inside leaving the dried crust of my muscles, moving, recreating the scenes i lived back then.

Old Poetry - Revolutionary Suicide

2009-09-05T22:06:00.004-04:00

1.death wonders at its own tenacitylooks in the mirror and finds paradox -the reflection of deathis which face of life2.our histories make us real.time flows into itself -the past becomes what is now,no separation of streamfrom each moment of shore.the imaginary line between past and presenturges comparisons, contrasts;seeks out definitions forsomething once considered lovesomething broken called

Only One Side of the Wing

2009-09-05T21:33:00.002-04:00

A little less than 4 years ago, November 2005, I stopped journaling in LiveJournal and, while I still read other people's journals and a bunch of RSS feeds over there, I made a decision to only post journal entries as blog posts here.As a general rule, I think it was a good move. I don't regret it and I won't go back, though I had a few flirtations with hidden journals that I abandoned very

Beyond what is Ever Expected.

2009-08-20T22:21:00.009-04:00

Today I was heading from the Columbia campus to my office in midtown, a budding migraine threatening, when it happened.You never really know what "the worst that could happen" is.No, really, you don't. And that's a good thing.If you are sitting here, reading this, I'll bet that 80% of you wouldn't have known what to do with the gentleman I met today.From one end of the subway car, without seeing

Cruel. Not for everyone. "Ode to a Migraine"

2009-08-20T22:18:00.002-04:00

How do I Hate thee? Let me count the ways.I Hate thee to the depth and breadth and heightMy rage can reach, when feeling out of sightFor the ends of seeing and ideal face.I Hate thee to the level of every day'sMost vengeful need, by sun and fluoro-light.I Hate thee freely, as men strive to fight.I Hate thee purely, as they falsely praise.I Hate thee with the passion put to useIn my old griefs,

Sometimes, despair.

2009-08-17T01:09:00.008-04:00

can't stop cursing. probably will not stop cursing for a long time.digital Postsecret card made by me. RIP Michael.

The Rhetoric of "Life"

2009-08-13T22:53:00.003-04:00

A long time ago,I spent part of my evening at a vigil in Union Square, mourning the death of Dr. George Tiller. No matter what people might think about the murder of a man who performed late-term abortions for a living, I know that he did what he did out of a respect for womankind, and as such I have tremendous respect for him. At the event, many great speeches were made, and I was once again

Crowdsourcing

2009-08-12T20:57:00.008-04:00

Being somewhat crowd-phobic, I've never paid as much attention to crowds as I probably should. I've been in them numbers of times, from various protests throughout my life, to the NYC subway, to concerts, to 9/11, to the blackout in NYC in 2004. I generally have had an un-phobic time within NYC crowds (subtracting the subway, of course), to the point where I have largely good memories of the

The World Surrounds Me

2009-07-16T22:12:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, July 15th, was a really amazing day.It started with me waking up earlier than my brain was ready to accept - I literally didn't know what to do once I opened my eyes. I was looking around my bedroom thinking "where the hell am I? What am I supposed to do here?" It took the dog showing up and nosing me to make me think "Oh yeah, walk the dog. I can do that."I was up so early in

I forgot to mention: Wildlove

2009-05-17T13:43:00.003-04:00

The past few weeks have brought both Amelia and I closer to the interesting wildlife in Prospect Park. There are a few specific birds and fish that seem to show up for us on a regular basis.First, Amelia, being part Toller and having those flashy white spots, will of course attract curious water birds (since that's what Tollers are bred to do). She has a devoted duck couple and a few geese who

"Planning" when ill

2009-05-16T22:52:00.001-04:00

The phrase "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" comes from a song John Lennon wrote to his son. It's become a bit of a cliche in a short period of time, which speaks a lot to the power of the statement. In this world I inhabit, it has become strikingly true. I was supposed to have moved everything by now - being sick starting early April and continuing until now prevented

I Am Now Rather Abashed at My Choice Of Metaphor

2009-04-26T22:36:00.001-04:00

Wow. Considering the flu I just went through, and the public health emergency just called, I probably should have been a little less... over the top. Though if my dr does say I have swine flu (seriously unlikely), it'd be more apt than otherwise.

Week Two of Plague's Gift

2009-04-25T12:55:00.000-04:00

Here I sit, gorgeous Saturday morning, and I am still struggling with the same illness. I sound like Madeline Kahn singing "I'm So Tired." I'm randomly feverish enough that I see things moving that aren't moving. I shouldn't be writing or posting, but lying down just makes the sinuses vastly worse, and watching movies has been giving me motion sickness, so... a doctor's appointment is

Death's Friend, Plague, Stopped By to Hitch A Ride

2009-04-19T16:14:00.001-04:00

After the last post, Death didn't stay long. The chats were quick and spawned a ton of thought and weird side effects. (Tangent: In an interesting coincidence, I even got a random call from a medic relative of mine with whom I don't talk often. He mentioned his own multiple experiences with death.) So Death got ready to leave pretty quickly, but it turns out Plague had lost a horse and needed

Death Comes By To Have A Chat

2009-04-13T02:05:00.002-04:00

A few people I used to know have died within the past week, and I found about about all of them Saturday or Sunday. None of them were people I was still in touch with, so there's no serious sense of loss involved. However, one in particular was someone to whom I had something left to say.Those who know me best know that part of why I'm making the effort to write the novel I'm writing now is a

Mass Consumption

2009-03-24T21:58:00.001-04:00

Sometimes one makes the most miraculous discoveries about oneself. I just noticed that when I'm not obsessing over movies and trying to get my Netflix queue down below 450, I read voraciously. I'd forgotten this while engaging my 2-dimensional self-portrait, titled Obsession With Moving Image. Having taken a wee break from moviewatching over the past two months (an attempt to cut screen-watching

The Wind Claws at the Corners

2009-03-23T22:59:00.001-04:00

Wow, it is one berserk weather week. Right now the winds are gusting here over 30 mph, but they're not truly bone-deep cold - oh no, not until you're inside, where they suck all your radiator heat through the pores of the concrete.Today has been a really crazy day. It follows a really crazy weekend. One would think, with all the craziness, that I would be less productive. Not so! I actually

Cruel Brain

2009-03-15T00:45:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was a fine, fun day (aside from the pickle juice I spilled all over some things, but that's easily cleanable, so no harm done). Therefore I'm not sure why my brain insisted on giving me a really dreadful dream that followed me through several abrupt wakings, and then into my morning.As a general rule, my dreams are fairly surreal, laden with tons of metaphor and symbolism. They're

Venus Retrograde

2009-03-12T23:03:00.002-04:00

Other people who know a little bit about astrology pay attention to Mercury retrograde. Me? I worry about Venus. I obviously haven't been paying enough attention. She went into retrograde on the 6th, the day that spawned the last post, and things have not been quite right since.Ugh. The last time Venus retro happened was July 2007, and while the result of that hi-temp tumble-dry negotiation

Because I Don't Wish To Discuss It

2009-03-07T13:06:00.002-05:00

Instead, you all get lyrics. It should convey enough.Depeche Mode - WrongI was born with the wrong sign in the wrong houseWith the wrong ascendancyI took the wrong roadThat led to the wrong tendenciesI was in the wrong place at the wrong timeFor the wrong reason and the wrong rhymeOn the wrong day of the wrong weekUsed the wrong method with the wrong techniqueWrongTheres something wrong with

The German for 'Dream' is 'der Traum' - Not Far to Trauma.

2009-03-02T23:25:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while, a dream or nightmare I have will grab my brain and shake it for all it's worth. It usually takes me a few weeks to recover from it. A few years ago it was a dream about two androids - one of whom was several hundred years older than the other - in a fight to the 'death.' Last night it was a dream of eating gold dust in order to save my daughter from being pulled into

Following the Spiral Up and Out

2009-02-28T22:00:00.003-05:00

Today's move felt more like a move and less like a schlep. I had one suitcase, 3 large bags, and 2 small bags, and for some reason when I got here I felt more "here" than I have so far. There's still a ton left to bring from Queens, but I no longer feel as though it's insurmountable. I know how to pack the rest for easy transport. I finally see the end of the tunnel, here.In the meantime, I had

The Trailing Tail of Time

2009-02-21T09:58:00.004-05:00

It's a little bit before 10 am and the fact that I've been up since 8:30 am has me very put out. Today is the Day of Cleaning, when/where I will wreak my vengeance on all the plaster dust in my new apartment-what-I-Haven't-been-Livin'-in. Thing is, since I woke up so early, I'm already feeling kind of tired and worn, and it bodes ill for the rest of the day.

Not really Shame...

2009-02-19T23:02:00.002-05:00

I am frankly astonished at how poorly written the last post is. I will grant that I was literally falling asleep at the keyboard when I was writing it, but that's definitely no excuse. Some things should never pass the "post" button.That said, I'm leaving it up because later on in the year it'll be fun to look back and go, "what was I THINKING??"

The Course of Novelty (a joyceian meditation)

2009-02-17T21:40:00.005-05:00

I did something new today and I ended up with one of my favorite friends sharing some time with me. I'm frequently trying to do something out of habit; this is the first time that three differentiations from my usual habits left me in the joyful company of someone with whom I don't spend enough time.In the meanwhile I'm trying to determine what category of life experience into which this falls.

What does One do...

2009-02-14T23:56:00.000-05:00

...with helplessness?In this world, there are people who are able to compartmentalize themselves or are able to compartmentalize their lives. They are able to separate themselves easily from the things that they are feeling. They can forget, bury, disremember... They shove emotional needs to the side; they repress. Stiff upper lip, don't embarrass yourself, and whatnot.I read this dissertation

A Demonic Summer Home, including fire pool and lava slide

2009-02-12T17:38:00.003-05:00

Earlier today, I wrote on my Facebook that I felt like several hell-demons were attempting to build a summer home in my sinuses. Now the entire front of my head is fierce with heat, and the demons' summer home has two wings, a 3-chariot garage, and a pool of fire with attached lava slide. *cue flags and confetti* It's kinda ugly - as my Eustachian tubes clatter and bubble, I can almost feel the

Debris and Bones Shifting and Groaning the Higher You Go

2009-02-10T22:56:00.002-05:00

Little did I know that yesterday's obstacles would make today into the mental equivalent of scaling Fresh Kills*. I'm astonished at how well I can sometimes sabotage myself.Now that I've written cancellation or reschedule notes to everyone with whom I had plans this weekend, I'm attempting to distract myself. I found myself deeply engaged in the story "Time Considered as a Helix of Semi-Precious

Over 3 hours of travel to do less than 2 hours of cleaning

2009-02-09T23:23:00.003-05:00

Today was one of those "many obstacle" days. Left work at ~5:30; got home at 10. In between, I did nothing that was effective or productive. Lesson learned - a cleaning at the level this place needs (I started mopping and came up with PINS) requires a serious time commitment.I was GOING to post requesting help on Sunday, but now this weekend is out because it's time to go get Mr. Etrigan out

Delighted Conclusions

2009-02-08T17:44:00.004-05:00

New York Comic Con 2009. Day 3.Astonishing #4: I touched some David Lloyd original artwork from War Story. I have Leo to thank for this, as well as Paolo at Cadence. I was too thrilled to even think of taking photos. There were about 7 Nightingale and J for Jenny pieces... really incredible. Here's Lloyd at his signing, from yesterday:Astonishing #5: Two Sam Brown custom sketches. I don't

Meeting Heroes

2009-02-08T01:15:00.005-05:00

Most of the time I'm reluctant to meet or talk to people whose art I respect. I, of all people, know how much one's art can deviate from who you are on a daily basis, and so I don't want to change my estimation of someone's creative output because they're having a really bad day and can't hide it.Which means in a convention context I try to be careful, but occasionally my fangirlish part gets

Failure in Motion

2009-02-06T19:43:00.004-05:00

I ended up not being able to move today. Why? Because the place had a ton of plaster dust sprinkled across everything surface-ish, and the front hall had a nice glitter from metal shards. Not so good for a recently surgerized puppy-eye, methinks.I received the note at 11 am today:"Dear Risa, there may be a small amount of plaster dust on the living room floor. We has a slight problem last

DANGER WILL ROBINSON

2009-02-05T21:27:00.001-05:00

...after this weekend, I will so need some serious reward time.in other news, Trajan!

The Motions of Surrender

2009-02-04T22:14:00.004-05:00

I don't know what to call this post.This post is my white flag.I have given up on the whole concept that I will be able to move in any cohesive fashion on Friday. There are so very many things to point out as obstacles: having no bed in the new place, new painting and cleaning going on in the new place right now due to water damage, trying to figure out how to shoehorn the existing stuff for

I have been informed I need to update the blog concerning certain issues.

2009-02-01T20:36:00.004-05:00

I thought I'd written certain things here, when in fact they only went to Facebook or Twitter. There's something somewhat sad about that oversight. I am only now understanding the appeal of Twitter over other social networking sites. (It doesn't help that I discovered I'm not prone to drunk dialing, but I AM prone to drunk Twittering.)So! In order:1) Amelia is doing very well! Her prosthetic

Lacking Appropriate Metaphors

2009-02-01T01:48:00.003-05:00

So something happened on Thursday night.Something faintly marvelous.I don't have good metaphors to explain the impact of what happened.Foodie analogies keep coming to mind, and are discarded as insufficient.Let it merely be said that the only words I can come up with to help me describe it are associated with taste. That, in and of itself, is something unique and unusual.Keep your fingers

25 random things

2009-01-27T23:12:00.001-05:00

On both Facebook and on LiveJournal, memes get passed around like crudites. It's entertaining, but sometimes embarrassing. For this one, though, the people who tagged me actually wrote some really interesting stuff about themselves so I decided to repay the favor. This is a duplicate of Facebook, on which I actually "tagged" people who I wanted to complete the list as well.~ * ~ * ~1. On all

Tales of Sundancing, part 3 - Kicking Risa Off The 'Net

2009-01-24T17:58:00.005-05:00

I don't know why or how it happened. For some reason, over the course of the next few days, very little wireless worked for me. On rare occasions I could receive, but only once could I send anything. Even at the usual Sundance public wifi spots, my machine was simply not having it.So, the quick summary of four days of Sundance:-Saturday I saw Cold Souls, and since I'd gotten little sleep the

Tales of Sundancing, part 2 - Friday

2009-01-17T23:03:00.002-05:00

After all the travel drama, I woke early - less than 5 hours after going to bed - in order to head to the box office and get my reserved tickets. Dave went with me, and we stood on a simply excessive line. I think the plane travel torqued my back a bit, because I spent a bit of time in serious hip pain. It felt like a miracle when they announced that will-call could go straight to the front of

Tales of Sundancing, part 1 - Departure

2009-01-16T18:22:00.005-05:00

For the past few years I've been attending Sundance with my friend Zod Microbe (aka Dave). Last year the flights there were dreadful beyond all recognition, so I made a specific effort to ensure that this year would not be a repeat.Therefore, looking at everything that happened yesterday, I can only laugh.The weather, for one, was just bound and determined to make as many people unhappy as

"Is it safe?"

2009-01-13T00:50:00.002-05:00

Things seem to be working better than they have. I'm hoping I did the do-over right. :)

Rewind - starting here

2009-01-11T16:34:00.003-05:00

Maybe the key to a universal do-over is to fix the things gone wrong in the same timeframe as they went awry... Mercury has gone retrograde and I can think of no better time to attempt to start the process. So many people I know find Mercury retrograde to be a disruptive time, but I never experience it as such. I actually find myself being able to communicate far more clearly during these times

Calling do-overs

2009-01-09T14:25:00.003-05:00

2009 continues its downward slide. I'm sick for the 2nd time in a week, sore and nauseous, and someone in this coop building has put fabric softener or something nastily fragranced in my laundry for the 2nd time in 3 days. Wednesday evening I figured I hadn't checked the washer enough and thought "oh well, I'll just rewash them." So, being sick and having no casual, outside-appropriate